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Rules Of The Game - Better Safe than Sorry... or Worse -
If meeting in person is your ultimate goal, online dating is an excellent way to build a relationship. You can get to know someone slowly, through correspondence, and build up some trust before you decide to get face-to-face (or other body part to other body part). No matter how confident you feel about the person you've decided to meet, you need to proceed with caution (code yellow) in order to protect yourself.
DON'T reveal you full name, address, telephone number or even e-mail address. Chances are you wouldn't give your personal contact information to a guy you just picked up at Starbuck's... no matter how gorgeous! The same rule applies online. In early communications with a potential friend-to-be, there's no reason to be so revealing.
Stop communicating IMMEDIATELY with anyone who tries to pressure you into revealing your contact information before you're ready. Even if you like a take-charge kinda guy, a CODE RED alarm should go off when someone becomes aggressive about exchanging contact information after just a message or two. Nice guys... SAFE guys... don't twist your arm. If he threatens to stop writing to you if you don't exchange contact information, tell him to go f**k himself, or anyone else stupid enough to fall for his tricks. Tip: Check with your ISP to ensure that your online profile does not reveal too much detailed contact information about you.
The Internet is filled with free email service providers like Hotmail, Bigfoot, MailZone and NetForward. Create an email specially for the purpose of Internet dating and keep your main email address anonymous.
It is easy to overlook the obvious. My friend Royce is a master at protecting his identity. He has several phone numbers, fax machines, voice mailboxes, etc. He was pretty confident that he was well-insulated when he began his foray into online dating. What Royce forgot was the multiple signature line that appears on the bottom of each and every email he sends which includes his business address and phone number. Since Royce is a home-based professional, he was - in effect - inviting the world over! Luckily, Royce caught this mistake before any serious problem developed... and given some of the men that contacted Royce, something might have.
Don't offer what you're not prepared to deliver. If your screen name is "HungLikeHorse," don't be surprised if most of the responses you get are of a highly sexual and graphic nature. If that's what you want - great! On the other hand, if your goal is to make contact for something more lasting than a quickie, you should consider a more neutral nickname that conveys more about the WHOLE you... not just that one great part!
Kiss in the shadows if you like. But meet in a crowded place. When you do decide to meet someone whose company you enjoy online, meet in a public place and bring your friends. If during the date, you decide to go somewhere else, use your own car.
Keep it Short, Simple And Safely Secure. Your first date should be short and simple and in a very public place - a cup of java at a coffee bar or a meeting over cocktails. It your date turns out to be a major dud, you'll be able to tolerate a short amount of chit-chat and aren't committed to a mind-numbing evening of boredom. And if he starts to give you the creeps, you can easily extricate yourself from the situation in the protective surrounding of others.
Don't leave home without them. Before you head out for the evening, be sure you've told at least one friend or family member what your plans are. Make arrangements to contact that person with an "all clear" when the date is over. If you have a cell phone, be sure to bring it with you. It can be a lifesaver.
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